A Nono in the Kitchen
by Kittensbreath
Summary: Based on the scene from "Green Card" when Philippe makes a pass at C.C. Rated T for language and mild sexual insinuations. CC/Niles ENJOY!


Author's note: This is a C.C/Niles centered story based around the scene in the Nanny episode "Green Card" in which the philandering French Philippe makes a pass at C.C. The first bit is taken directly from the scene, dialogue and action, but the rest is very different. I obviously own nothing, because if I did, the Nanny would be a whole lot of Niles and C.C. and not much of anything else. ;) Anyway, this is my first FF in nearly 5 years and I'm excited to be back. Enjoy!

**A No-no in the Kitchen**

C.C. Babcock stands alone in the kitchen. She pours herself a cup of coffee and grimaces. Where is that good-for-nothing butler? Is there really any other aspect of his worthless job besides serving me? For a mere second, her mind jumps to a rather inappropriate image. _Oh god, that could be misconstrued. What am I even thinking..._

As she's placing the pot back into the machine, Philippe swings the kitchen door open, pulling her from her rather unnerving thoughts. Hello, CaCa. he croons in an innocent enough manner. C.C. stands shell-shocked behind the kitchen counter for a minute, quite unsure of what to think or say and is at a complete loss for words. Philippe had made his way over to her side by the time she regained her voice.

"What?"

"Is that not what C.C. stands for? This is what the butler told me? the Frenchman conjures in his smooth accent, a clear look of confusion resting in his eyes."

C.C purses her lips in frustration._ Damn that butler. I'll get him for this._ She swiftly changes the subject. After all, this is a most exciting day! Philippe is marrying Nanny Fine and she will soon be out of my hair.

"You know, Philippe? You have made me the happiest woman on Earth."

The man takes her hand and lifts it to his lips, "And how 'ave I done zat mon coeur?" He breathes a tender kiss onto the blonde's knuckles.

"By taking Nanny Fine off my hands..."

Philippe continues up her arm, placing a kiss here and there. "...arms..."

He kisses her shoulder persistently, forcing C.C.'s eyes to widen in surprise. "...shoulders?"

"Your skin is like white chocolate, cherie." He places another kiss on her fingers before moving behind her to gently run his hands along her shoulders.

"Aren't you engaged to Nanny Fine? asks C.C., her brow furrowed from confusion."

"Oui."

The philanderer places a kiss on her opposite shoulder. His closeness was making her ache and she wondering if he could sense her shiver when his breath tickled her neck. C.C. extends her right arm and Philippe begins to give it the same attention he gave to her left. Beginning at her creamy wrist, he places wet kisses along her skin.

"And you think I would condone this type of scandal with me? "

"Mmm... oui."

Their eyes meet. Philippe smiles broadly, his dimples digging into his cheeks. _My god, he is so handsome. I can't believe this is happening. I don't know what to think._

C.C. takes a small step backwards, taking her hand from Philippe's grasp and placing it over her chest.

"Monsieur, I am deeply offended." she utters, drawing out each word because she fears she wouldn't be able to say them otherwise.

Soon after the last word of the phrase leaves her mouth, her lips are on the Frenchman's. Her hands rest firmly on his cheeks while his arms press strongly into her waist, pulling them infinitely closer together. He moves his hand a bit further up her back as they kiss deeply. Their embrace is short lived but was still the embodiment of C.C.'s idea of a perfect kiss: sensuous, deeply felt, and, most of all, spontaneous. Her mind flickers back to that instance in Maxwell's office when she smooched Niles and still, she couldn't quite convince herself that it was all that terrible. C.C. finds herself pulling away from Philippe just as quickly as she had pulled herself into his arms.

"Stop it." she deadpans, neither giddy nor infuriated.

Philippe gently runs his finger along her jawline.

"A tout a l'heure."

He brushes her shoulder once with his finger and swiftly exits the kitchen, leaving the stunned blue-eyed beauty alone with her thoughts once again. C.C. follows him with her wide eyes and runs her fingers along her painted lips, blending any smudges away and reliving the interesting moment in her mind.

Seconds later, yet another foreigner interrupts her thoughts. Niles bursts in from the patio carrying a rag and some blue cleaning liquid. He hides his stunned and perhaps frustrated expression behind a typical zinger.

"Did CaCa do a no-no in the kitchen? Now she's going to have to clean it up!" he sets down his supplies.

C.C. paces over to the counter beside him. Her voice is considerably lighter than her usual menacing tone when she responds.

"What do you mean?"

Her voice catches him much more off-guard so than he would liked to have shown, but he couldn't help it. He cleared his throat abruptly.

"Just what did you think you were doing?"

"Listen, Benson. I don't have to explain myself to you. You're not my mother, although you do come close enough in age. she rebukes."

"So the Bitch of Broadway is back, eh?" he busies himself by pouring a cup of coffee for himself.

"Excuse me?" she questions, glaring at him through an icy lens.

"Oh, it just seemed as if Ice Queen had thawed under the warm embrace of that French philanderer."

Niles stirs some cream into his coffee using languid circles of his spoon. C.C. can't help but feel compelled to watch his hand at work. She easily sensed the underlying sarcasm of his words. No matter how long he had been watching them, it was pretty evident that she hadn't softened to the man. She initiated the kiss. She broke apart. She expressionlessly told him to stop. Staring into her own black coffee she thought: _I will forever be a cold-hearted, mean-spirited, rich bitch._

"Babcock, there _is_ a rhythm to this thing, you know?"

The blonde looks up up at him. "Hmm?"

Sighing, he moves to the table to set his coffee down and grab the newspaper that he hadn't gotten a chance to glance over yet.

"You know, our banter. I insult you, you insult me. You're already down one point now." he explains, popping the newspaper open to the arts section. He extracts his reading glasses from his breast pocket and places them on the bridge of his nose. He takes a sip of his coffee and begins skimming the paper for any scathing reviews of Maxwell's latest show.

"Yes, well...I've got to get back to work."

C.C. is briskly walking to the door when she feels an arm reach out and grab hers roughly. She turns around to see Niles standing behind her, clutching her limb.

"So you're not even going to tell Miss Fine what happened? That she's marrying a cad?"

She tries desperately to escape his grasp, but she cannot. What's more is that she can't escape his glare either. His baby blue eyes stared at her sharply through his spectacles. He seemed stern and yet... all she wanted was to throw herself into his arms and bury herself in his heart. _My god, what has gotten into me? Maybe that french fry actually did soften me_... She tore her eyes from his and stared down at her shoes. Black t-strap heels, quite sexy. She felt confident in these shoes. She was able to tower over men even more so than she would without them. They gave her a powerful edge. A woman in heels was a woman in charge of her life and those around them. If so, then why could she feel Niles' eyes boring into the top of her head?

"Answer me, woman!"

"Niles..."

She couldn't give more of an answer than that. After hesitantly speaking his name, she spun around quickly and sped out of the kitchen. Niles stood with his feet planted in that same spot for what seemed like an eternity to him. _What has gotten into her? No rebuttals, no jokes, no insults. She wouldn't even look at me. I set her up so many times and she took no opportunity to argue or banter. I called her woman...I barked at her...and nothing...The way she said my name... my god, it was more like a soft mew than that rich voice I'm used to. She sounded like a kitten..._

Eventually, he felt the urge to sit down once again at the table. He sipped at his lukewarm coffee and continued to stare at the door that she had just swept through.

"I wonder what's going on in your head, you mysterious witch."

"What's that, Niles?"

Maxwell had entered the room at some point during his thoughts for some coffee.

"Oh, I was just wondering what is going on with... my head sir. I have this mysterious... itch."

"Right, well. You know, there is shampoo for that, old man."

"Yes, sir." _God, he is so dense._

"Niles, do you know where C.C.'s gotten off to? She went for some coffee and never returned..."

"She left the kitchen a while ago, mumbling something about getting back to work. Oh, how silly of me. She must have meant down at the corner. Should I fetch my jacket and run after her, sir?"

"Niles, this is serious. Where could she have gone? It's very unlike her to not be working all the time. I suppose I'll go and check the office again, perhaps we took separate paths and I missed her."

Niles watched his boss leave and slumped down into his chair. What the hell is going on today? He finished his coffee and read some mundane articles about up-and-coming actors and book reviews. Just as he had bundled up the paper and was rinsing out his mug, Maxwell comes bounding into the kitchen again.

"Niles, I can't find C.C. anywhere. What on Earth is she thinking, just leaving like that? Do me a favor and call her place, would you? See if she went home. And if she answers, tell her to GET THE BLOODY HELL BACK HERE!"

Niles dries off his hands and reached for the phone. He calls Miss Babcock a total of four times before deciding to call it quits. He did a quick summary of his to-do list for today and, after realizing that it didn't comprise of much, decides to venture out to look for her. He would check her penthouse and then a few of her favorite bars. _Damn this infuriating woman for making me waste my time like this._ He opens the coat closet and pulls on his navy overcoat, not bothering to button it in his haste. He thrusts open the front door only to find a blonde woman sitting on the front steps. She was shivering slightly, wearing only a black pencil skirt and a light blue blouse, no coat to speak of in the chilly New York atmosphere. A cigarette was pressed between her burgundy lips. Her knees were pressed up against her chest and her arms wrapped around them tightly in a futile attempt to keep warm. Once in a while an arm would lift up to snatch the cigarette from her mouth or to flick ash onto the pavement.

Niles watches her for a while, not really noticing how captivated he was by her. He watches the tendrils of smoke pour out of her colored mouth and mingle with the brisk air around them. He was beginning to feel lightheaded. He hates smoke but somehow she just made it look so damn seductive. He stared as she snorted smoke from her nostrils like a great Chinese dragon. He gawked at the multitude of goosebumps that traced every inch of her exposed skin.

Suddenly, the woman stands up and let the cigarette fall from her mouth onto the pavement. She extends a white leg and snuffs the butt out, grinding it into the ground. Niles dared not interrupt her ritual, for he would become her next sacrifice smashed into the cold concrete. He silently watches her leg retreat back underneath her and prayed he'd see it again. He hoped for glances of it from the deep slit in the back of her skirt, taunting him with every movement she ever makes. He watches C.C. stare down the road at the cars whizzing by. _What is she thinking? What is going on in her head?_ With a sigh, she reaches into her purse and withdraws a long silver case. From it, she pulls out another cigarette and was starting to light up.

"I thought you quit, Babcock."

"Good, god." She drops her cigarette, along with the case and her purse. Matches scattered all along the ground. "You scared the shit out of me, Niles."

Niles says nothing. He bends down and picks up her case and a few matches. He hands them to her and she throws everything into her purse.

"What do you want, Hazel?"

"Mr. Sheffield is concerned that you never returned to the office. He sent me out to look for you, seeing as I have nothing better to do with my time than hunting witches."

C.C. says nothing in response. She didn't even look at him.

"Dammit, Babcock!" He screams. "What has gotten into you? You're supposed to throw a comeback at me!"

Again, she says nothing. Niles grabs her by the arms and shakes her once or twice trying to get her attention, to revive her somehow. He catches her eye and he realizes that she's been crying. He feels something strange in his heart, like an ache of some sort. Perhaps a pain or a pang, but he certainly feels something.

"Miss. Babcock, whatever is the matter?" his voice is tender and smooth.

She gives in to his shaking and his soothing tone. She dips her head down into the crook of his neck and cries. Violent sobs fall between the collar and shoulder of his coat. Niles gathers her into his strong arms and gently sways her, rocking her into a comfort of some kind. He raises a hand to stroke her hair. C.C. lifts her hands to his chest and lightly pushes him away.

"I- I'm so sorry... I don't know what came over me."

"No, Miss Babcock, I'm sorry. I never meant to push you over the edge."

"Don't get a bigger head than you already do, Hazel. This isn't about you."

Niles only let out a small chuckle and pushed some strands of golden hair out of her face.

"Then will you at least tell me what is troubling you?"

C.C. glances down towards her shoes again._ A woman in heels is sexy. A woman in heels is confident and in charge of her life._ She exhaled deeply, the cold air mimicking the way the smoke looked coming out of her mouth only moments ago.

"I'm feel that I'm going to regret telling you this, but I'm so tired of being alone." She drew in a quick breath a continued in a wavering voice. "And I'm tired of running around chasing someone who is never going to pay me any attention. Philippe and Nanny Fine will never last, I know this. I'm going to tell Maxwell and it will only bring him that much closer to her. They're sort of meant for each other, you know? I've been nipping at Maxwell's heels since Sally -"

"Sara..."

"Right...Sara was still around. She sighs and looks up at the sky. I mean... it's been so many years. If something was going to happen or if it was meant to be, it would have already happened."

She paused for a while, gathering her thoughts.

"It's just not going to happen. I have to move on."

Niles could hardly believe his ears. This woman, who has relentlessly schemed up ways to draw Maxwell closer to her and further from Miss Fine was giving up?

C.C. had turned away from him, but kept her gaze on the clouds. It was about 6:30 pm and the sky was turning beautiful shades of orange and yellow. The eastern-most part was still a brilliant blue, matching the hue of both sets of eyes there on the front stoop. Near the setting sun, the clouds burned a lusty shade of deep red. It was a truly beautiful sight to see and she was lost in it. Forgetting everything she had just spilled out as well as any idea that he would respond, she had lost herself in the sky.

Niles took a tentative step towards her. His lips had curled into a bit of a smile as he watched her there in the dimming sun. Her hair was ruffled a bit and some strands were sifting gently with the breeze. He longed to run his fingers through her shiny tresses, tangling them there. His thoughts were wandering. _Tangled. Yes... My sheets tangled around us, our legs tangled, arms, hair..._

"Miss. Babcock? I know you are the Ice Queen and all, but don't you think you should come inside? I believe I'll find myself in a heap of trouble if you freeze out here instead of returning to work."

She merely shakes her head, not bothering to tear her eyes from the skyline. Niles takes a tentative step forward. The wind had exposed her neck to him and he can't seem to help himself. He rests his hand on her shoulder and places a soft kiss somewhere near her collarbone. He hears her gasp and smiles to himself._ I can't believe I just did that. I hope she doesn't skin me. I'd love to kiss her again and again..._

C.C. can't quite bring herself to turn around._ Did he really just kiss me? What if I imagined it? I can't say anything. What do I do?_

Both, butler and socialite stand unmoving in the frigid weather together. Neither of them bickering nor speaking at all nor breathing. After a while, Niles makes a move. Taking off his coat, he places in over C.C.'s shoulders, enveloping her in what he's sure is some much needed warmth. C.C. has no excuse to remain numb from her emotions and the weather any longer. She turns to face Niles and fingers his tie.  
>Niles is the first to speak.<p>

"Listen, I realize that I have overstepped my bounds-"

C.C. presses her lips against his, cutting him off. It's a simple kiss. Short, but delicate and most of all: spontaneous. They look at each other for a moment. Her eyes flutter closed once again to place another feathery kiss on his mouth. Niles watches her this time, his heart growing a thousand sizes in that moment. She was warming him from the inside out. When she pulls away, Niles grasps her firmly by the waist and pulls her closer to him. His mouth closes in on hers. He kisses her deeply and sensuously. One of his hands makes its way up to the back of her neck, cradling her there in his arms. C.C. throws her arms around his neck, his coat falling from her shoulders in one sweep. One soft hand lingers up into his hair and she tangles her fingers into his soft brownish locks. Niles takes her cue and touches her velvety hair with his own hands, roughing it a little as his lips lightly nip at her bottom lip. C.C. whimpers before she realizes what is happening. She blushes furiously and pushes him away.

"Niles, what on Earth are we doing?"

He simply takes her hand in his and places a smoldering kiss on it. He turns her hand and kisses her palm before placing it over his chest.

"C.C.," he takes a breath and pulls her closer using his free hand "let me love you."

"Oh, Niles."

Their lips meet once again in a burning kiss. Niles sucks on her bottom lip as his tongue begs entrance into her sweet mouth. He nearly faints when he tastes her. Coffee and honey and nicotine. He could have done without the latter, but she was a pleasant and enticing blend of all three. C.C. could feel her knees giving out and she was greatly thankful for Niles' lean arms enveloping her so strongly. She sighed as he moved his head lower to plant a few kisses on her jaw and neck. When he kissed her lustfully beneath her ear and began to nibble on her earlobe, she had to pull away.

"Niles, I _really_ do need to get back to work. Maxwell is already furious with me."

"Very well, CaCa." he jokes.

Niles bends down to retrieve his jacket, catching a glimpse of her long, lean legs. He regains his posture and holds her by the waist. He reaches a hand up to softly stroke her cheek and brushes her nose with his index finger.

"Meet me in the kitchen later. We'll do a no-no." he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

C.C. laughs deeply, "Is that such a good idea?"

"I'm not sure, but I am part French, you know."

C.C. gazes at his with her eyes burning and her mouth agape.

Niles releases her and walks to the front door. He rests his hand on the doorknob, then turns to face C.C.

"Until later, mon chaton."


End file.
